You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Sometimes, this overused line affects people more than it should; a lot more. Tragedy always strikes unexpectedly, as we don’t anticipate it striking ever. And it is in such events we are forced to part with loved ones.

It is in lesser circumstances, that I have to announce the project we were working on: Swords & Wizardry.

We came together once again, after years of absence, to immerse ourselves into the wonderful world of Roleplaying. Spearheaded by the now deceased dungeon master, we set off to make roleplaying more spiritual than calculated. So, with little need for dice and such, our adventures would rely more on the strengths of our intellects.

I was going to announce it once the project received more momentum, but that will never happen again. So this dual feature will feature all the parts we had in our adventures.For some more background information on the characters and whatnot, you can look up this site.

This story will tell the first part of our adventure in the insane asylum riots (part 2 to come):

Watch this video for the live action capture.

It is a strange, dark world out there. Rogues running outside the confounds of the law, evil wizards wreaking havoc on the countryside; it is not hard to see there is something wrong in this plane of existence. There is much that remains unknown, both to you and yours, but we can tale that of which we have knowledge.

The premise starts an unlikely pair off in a huge sanitarium. There it is that a gentleman rogue, called Ignacius, with top hat and all and a strange and deranged sorcerer, called Richmond, find themselves trapped. Not much is known of their adventures within, but it is certain they won’t go by unnoticed in history. During their short timespan there, they managed to create a riot within the mental ward, which started an immense fire and that in its turn started a massive flooding. To make matters worse, an ogre sprouted out of nowhere and mental patients started escaping from their burning prisons. The havoc was almost total, when the rogue got himself severely injured and Richmond had him shrunk to the size of a thimble. After that, the strange wizard hid his companion somewhere and dispersed.

It is at this point, Link has the misfortune of seeing himself captured and taken to the loony bin; ‘mistaken’ for a mad man. Upon arrival, the guards who have caged Link find themselves trapped within the burning building. As the inferno creeps up on them, 2 mental patients erupt from the burning hallway and a very confused scuffle ensues.

As one of the patients on fire is flailing around, he hits the carriage containing the rogue, Link. There our small friend attempts to knock over his cage and use the fire to weaken and break the cage altogether. And although his plan is fairly valiant, his skill sadly is not. With a swift kick, he manages to shatter the wooden bars, but not before catching a massive splinter in the eye, rendering him temporarily blind.

There isn’t any time to recover though, as the guards now have more alleged patients to fight off and thus starts a mad free-for-all. The guards start attacking the rogue, the patients start slamming into him, people fall over, men and women alike catch fire; the scene in this decaying building is one to behold.

After a few hits and misses, one of the guards falls prone due to a patient’s confused charge. Having tried the friendly approach and failed, Shorty decides to take more drastic measures. He grabs a burning stake and firmly jabs it into the fallen guard’s rectum. If you thought spicy food was bad for your colon, you have seen nothing yet, my friend. The guard is sprawling for solace, but the fight rages on. Amidst all the screams and confusion, our rogue decides to spare lives and tries to retreat to a nearby room.

Unfortunately, he isn’t welcomed with open arms and the nurses in the nursery do not trust the scuffling stranger. As the guard In the other room rushes in, Shorty tries to make his way around him. The nurses have other plans and try to silently warn the guard of his presence. When one of them utters the criminal has passed the guard, he takes it as a personal offence and scolds the subordinate to know her place! Good old fashion machismo saves Shorty the trouble of having to deal with another battle and he escapes to another room.

He know finds himself trapped within the delivery room as a young mother is giving birth, with the help of a young nurse. Obviously, Shorty does not wish to harm these gentle creatures and he attempts to sneak into one of the closest unnoticed.  But this plan could not have backfired more, for when he tries to climb in, he slips and hospital supplies start flying around the room. Amidst the sheets, bottles and other stock items, a pair of scissors rockets out and lodges itself straight into the back of the young nurse’s head. She falls dead on the spot and on the crotch of the delivering mother, who starts to panic.

Although Link attempts to persuade her it was a very unfortunate accident, the young woman is too hopped up on hormones to hear reason and screams out in panic and labor pains. It is also at this point a strange rumbling is suddenly heard from one of the cupboards. Before anyone is the wiser a man erupts from the wood and falls to the floor as the cupboard shatters. There is a massive confusion, but guards and nurses are closing in.

Futurama might be the most awesome show ever.

The guard has Link in his sights and thus our Halfling friend decides to push the woman off the table ‘for cover’. His act is met with another misfortune and his clothing gets caught on the woman as she falls to the floor. But in a strange twist of fate, Link now finds himself on top of the table as the guard comes rushing in.

In the meantime, the nurse gathers all her professionalism and decides to mend the horribly wounded man that came from the closet. She’s a bit dazed from all the commotion though and wraps Top Hat’s face in completely. This leaves Ignacius temporarily blind as the guard proceeds to rush on Shorty. The guard takes a mighty swipe but overshoots it and strains his arm as his sword flails the air and makes him turn his back to his opponent. Shorty perceives this as the opportune time to hone his anatomic skills and lunges into the guards back to strike him down. A mighty and precise strike to the hypothalamus kills the guard on the spot; though Shorty’s weapon is now firmly lodged in the back of his enemy’s neck.

Yup, Futurama is the most awesome show ever.

The humanity is too much for the poor nurse, who stumbles back into the hallway as reinforcements arrive. She tries to warn them about the mayhem, but is so shocked by the events she rambles incoherently and is mistaken for a rioting mental patient. It does not bode well for the noble nurse as she is quickly struck down by the guards in order to silence the ongoing riot.

Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed.