Way back when

By goliath, Posted 20 Jul 2010

hey gang. i know i have been fairly inactive noobfeed but i have to make a confession.....It's not you noobfeed it's me. See i have ADD when it comes tho big or small things. so i wil really try to contribute with interviews and just random tidbits of news i hear.

On the other hand, remember a long time ago in a galaxy far far away when i wrote a short story and i said i would post it on the site? well i finally found it. although this is the origonal copy with user names so mind any spelling and grammar mistakes.

                                           Vengeance

                                Ilias, a young drow with a nearly insatiable urge to kill was a student at the drow academy of fighting. He was exceptional with almost any weapon but always preferred spears and pole arms of the like. He is slightly younger than his sister Borna, but just as strong although in a physical sense. His sister Borna on the other hand was just graduated from the academy of sorcery. She was always eager to show off her seemingly limitless power but not just too kill but too impress other drow.

Each of them trudged along, but with a heavy burden in their hearts, the slaughter of their entire family. Ilias and Borna Sarwar, drow sister and brother, knew that they would not stand for this treachery. Both of them vowed to destroy the Koshai house. The final moments inside the house were those of chaotic and frantic but neither of them would forget the matron mother, spitting “finally you will witness the death of your family and I shall have my glory!” Those were the last words that each of them heard and those would echo in their minds for centuries.

                Their pace quickened as a nearer house peaked over the horizon. This house was not very elaborate but still enough to shelter the near three hundred drow that could possibly live within. As they neared the complex they gazed upon the adamantine gates bearing the crest of the Canana family, the drow deity, Lolth surrounded in flames. Once they were within stone’s throw distance, the mighty gates swung open to invite the two now orphans in. A sharp whistle came from the balcony followed by “Ah some visitors!” The mysterious character swung down in a flowing jump to then a tuck roll to avoid injury of the legs. Instantly he gave them a puzzling look.”Sarwar house? What brings you here?” “Only the pursuit of vengeance” answered Ilias, in the hopes to end up killing something. “Ah and for what reason?” “Our house has been slaughtered. We are the last of Sarwar blood.” The mystery drow ran inside and through a glorious archway to so he could speak with the matron mother. It is obviously he due to the guards following her and her superior robes. She nodded and peered at the brother and sister. She nodded and walked away making them uneasy. The man stood atop a small flight of stair and let out a wondrous introduction. I, Sleven Canana welcome you to our humble abode. They each nodded and strolled in casually.

                They found there cots immediately and rested their weary bodies. As soon as they had enough time to have a decent bit of shut eye they were put to work. Borna was now in charge of slave labour, directing and making sure none of them “wander off”.  She stood over the mining pit, staring each and every one of them down. A group tried to run away but in seconds Borna finished her fireball incantation, incinerating one and igniting the other twenty, leaving them burnt and screaming in agony. Soon after she gave a terror inducing speech “I Borna Sarwar have  ultimate power of you! So if you wish to turn into a mutilated corpse, run like the others! Now anyone who wants to disobey my orders will be punished with death for him and every one of you disgusting filth!” Each of the nearly three hundred slaves stared in fear knowing the pain that a drow could cause. “What are you looking at you scum? Get too work!” Everyone complied with renewed energy fearing her deadly punishment.

                Borna was not the only one, her brother Ilias had immediately started training in combat. Sleven lead him to the duelling ring. Ilias knew what was coming but never knew to what degree. Sleven was one of the greatest weapon masters in all of Menzoberanzan. He sat at the other side of the ring trying to intimidate Ilias, but he was un-phased. Sleven now drew a pair of scimitars and admired their exceptional craftsmanship.  Ilias pulled his spear off his back, he took a low stance and pointed it at Sleven. Instantly Sleven lunged at Ilias with blinding speed. It was deflected by the shaft of the spear which was enchanted with a spell that made it indestructible. Of course Sleven did not know this so puzzled, he reputedly struck the shaft with slices and chops that would chop a entire tree down but soon he caught on and simply disarmed Ilias. Now without a weapon, Ilias tokk a large sweeping kikck at Sleven’s ankles, Laying him flat on his back. With blinding speed, Ilias dove over Sleven and recovered his spear. From behind, Sleven approached and swung at his opponent’s spine, only to be met with a parry that left his weapon on the ground. Before anyone could tell what had just happened, Ilias held his spear’s tip dug into Sleven’s throat just enough to draw blood. Each were amazed. Ilias had thought that he was only the norm  of fighters but to have defeated the likes of Sleven surly proved he was more than that. Sleven on the other hand was disappointed in himself now that his reputation was tarnished.

                That night each Borna and Ilias sat at their cots and spoke of their day. The matron mother crept around the corner just loud enough so each of them would notice. “ I have heard of your exploits around here. I will admit, I am quite impressed. But the Purpose of this is to offer each of you a spot as part of the family.” Each of them nodded in agreement, then she let out her hand, showing two emblems, one for each of them. They were gold with the Canana crest imprinted in them.

                The next morning they awoke to the sounds of battle plans. When they arose they came to a small room where Sleven and the matron mother were discussing the plan. Not knowing what was happening, Ilias was quick to ask what was happening. The Cananas’ explained that they planned to take Koshai house. Eager the two listened in. “We will send the slaves at the front gate to act as fodder, then while the troops on the rampart are busy Sleven will lead his troops over the the wall to the east so he may eliminate any archers that may sit on top. Then Borna will lead another platoon to the south gate to and into the complex doorway to stop the flow of troops outward. Once all the troops are dead outside, Sleven will jam the other doors of the complex, splitting the forces into two parts. Ilias will then bring up the rear and reinforce the doorways. Once the situation has been controlled and it is at a stalemate Borna, Ilias, and Sleven will scale the keep and once at the top, they will enter and find the matron mother and her priestesses.” Everyone looked at each other so make sure everyone understood. “Everyone get rest, we march tomorrow.”

                The day had come for war. The slaves were on the move followed by Sleven`s troops and then Borna`s then Ilias`s. Everyone was on the march but now eager to kill. The first sounds of war rang in the air, the clambering of shields on the gate. The slaves managed to muster some weapons and armour, but that was not enough to stop the hail of arrows that met them. Although they were fighting hard and with purpose with the promise that any survivors would be set free, too bad they were miss-led. Sleven`s troops by now have breached the ramparts and slaughtered all the archers that were firing upon the army of slaves. In an astonishing act of teamwork, the half giants managed to craft a ram of some sorts and broke down the gates. Now the slaves flooded in like a swarm of locusts upon a field of crops. Borna`s troops have came and now were at the doors of the complex. The difference now is that it was a battle between drow now, now proving a close match as they are some of the finest soldiers in the world. The slaves were on the other side but being slaughtered fast. But only to be met by Sleven and Ilias`s troops.

                Now the plan was all going as, well planned. Now the three climbed to the keep, using each other as boosts and jumping from platform to platform. Finally now they had reached their destination, Borna kicked the window open  and crawled in. The trio stuck to the walls to not be seen by rushing soldiers. Sleven peered around the corner and spotted the matron mother and her priestesses along with nearly twenty guards. Borna got the head start in kills by once again casting fireball, turning one into a pile of ashes and another ten on the ground burning in agony and pain. Ilias charged in, rage drunk and willing to fight anything that came his way. He shoulder checked one and impaled her on the ground. By this time the matron mother and her entourage were cowering in the corner. Now Ilias was fending 3 off by himself but still was cautious of any more that may come. Sleven dashed in with his scimitars in the air. In a matter of seconds he caught one of the warriors on the inside of the cheek and ripped off the side of her face, leaving her screaming in anguish on the floor. In the next instance he left one to a better fate, leaving her body separated from her head, which was now rolling on the floor spewing blood everywhere. Now only six remained, each knowing the power of the three. Borna now picked up a mace and shield, now with her energy depleted she had to resort to her minor training in combat. She blocked a vicious attack and now she made a devastating riposte, bashing in her opponents skull, almost the point where the victim could not be recognized. Sleven was keeping two at bay but was hardly fighting at his best. Ilias on the other hand, skewed two of his enemies in one powerful thrust. The loud clamber of armour and weapons entered the room as another ten troops bolted in. The all surrounded Borna, who was closest to the door, but in the blink of an eye Sleven dove into the crowd, slicing and slashing enemies with blinding speed, unfortunately it was not enough, he was hacked in the shoulder, leaving his arm hanging by the sinew of his flesh. Ilias finished kicking the corpse off his spear and went in to protect Borna. Sleven had rose to his feet, but was fatigued by the attacks he was countering with one arm. Borna at the same time was now focused in her one target but was still being harassed by another. Ilias on the other hand was still killing all and any in his path. He was literally trampling over corpses as he brought another three to their fate. He looked over at Sleven, spurting blood all over his enemies and was growing ever weary of this battle. In one single movement though he had a blade thrust into his stomach, leaving him on the floor, near death. Ilias felt a sudden burst of might, focusing his anger unto his opponents. With lightning fast movements he had cut one’s throat, letting it ooze blood onto the floor where her ally was soon, to be covered in it. Borna now struck her opponent’s chest, then dragging it downwards, letting the flanges tear through the flesh. Finally they were all dead, not even a moan of pain rose from the corpses on the floor.

                Where ever Ilias stepped it made the sound of blood splashing. He drug Sleven’s body to the wall so he could prop him up. With his blood covering his face, he struggled to even speak the words “End it” Ilias merely picked up one of Sleven’s blade and walked towards the matron mother in the corner. He drug here towards Sleven, soaking her in blood and causing her to scream and struggle to try and run. He stood her up and faced Sleven. “I want it to be your blade that ends her, and her entire family.” The room was silent, as if time had stopped, then Ilias slowly turned towards her. He brought his lips next to her ear, so only they could hear the conversation. “You have made me witness the death of my family.” Borna was already at work, executing each priestess. The matron mother could hear the shrill screams of her daughters that were amongst them. “Now you shall witness yours.” He thrust the blade into her chest, just far enough from her heart so she did not die instantly. “Curse your family all the way to the nine hells!” Then Ilias drove the blade deeper, making her spit blood all over his face and his chest. He looked over at Sleven, who now lay among the corpses, as one of them. The brother and sister looked at each other but did not say a word, they knew that their quest was complete, they each had their vengeance.

 

 

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  • Welcome back Partner. I have another interview coming shortly. Which means you too ;)



    I’ve read first page of it and I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s a 4 page long story. Taking a printout for tonight read. Will update my comment tomorrow :)


    Posted Jul 20, 2010

  • Welcome back :D It's obvious I won't be reading that wall of text :P But if you buy me candies I can read slowly :D


    Posted Jul 20, 2010

  • Curse them!! They killed the matron mother. I am angry. Blood filled with rage.. My eyes are red hot. Ilias, Borna and Sleven will pay for what they have done. You messed with Koshai and he is still alive. The bloodline still lives. Koshai will make sure that these three coward will see a slow and painful death from Koshai himself. Vengeance will be mine.


    Posted Jul 21, 2010

  • The ending got me sad but I really laughed whole time during the story. I can’t even picture myself into that mess. :lol



    Btw, when you say Borna Sarwar, you make a wife of Ron :P


    Posted Jul 22, 2010

  • @ Tanya; lol well i tried to include everybody and well in drow society a family name is just a name. thats just the way they are. in fact men are treated as lessers of women



    @Xiao funny my brother just walked in with a huge bag of candy



    @ Koshai are you suggesting a spin off?



    @ everybody, what do you guys think of this 9th grade writing project?


    Posted Jul 22, 2010
  • avatar RON


    Nice writing. You could've sliced it into few different chapters and elaborate the scenarios a bit.


    Posted Jul 22, 2010

  • @ron: well it was a "short story project" and also i had to re write this a few times because i lost the file a few times


    Posted Jul 22, 2010

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